Grumble Grumble

My stomach is completely barren of anything but grumbles today. 

I have to go to the doctor for a colonoscopy this afternoon and as such had the pleasure of purging everything from my system yesterday. Couldn't eat anything, couldn't drink anything but clear liquids. And then, joy of all joys, I had to drink the nastiest prep drink over the course of two hours. It was two hours of hell - slightly sweet lemon ginger flavor, thicker than juice, but not quite eggnog consistency, making me gag with every sip.

The joys of having Crohn's means that at the ripe age of 31, this will be my third colonoscopy. At least I'm getting knocked out for this one. I was awake for one and no matter what they say about it not hurting it is terribly uncomfortable, and no matter how awesome the staff is (especially the nurses) at making the situation seem like it isn't an embarrassing deal, it is awkward. 

But when I get knocked out, I don't remember any of it. And apparently my short-term memory sucks once I come out of the "under". The last "procedure" was when they were trying to diagnose me with Crohn's. Will was there when the doc came out to talk to us about the findings. 

I asked the doctor, "So, do I have Crohn's?" 

And the doctor said, "Yes." 

And then after a few minutes of going over the treatment options, I piped up again, "So, do I have Crohn's?" 

And again, the doctor said, "Yes."

Apparently I asked the same question every few minutes. I was useless with remembering stuff. I need to figure out a code word to give Will so he can say, "bananas" and I'll know to shut up because I'm not making sense and repeating the same question over and over. But with my luck, I won't remember the code word and Will will just be stuck repeating the same nonsense over and over this time trying to give me the code word. And he won't have the excuse of having been knocked out.

Also, the spellchecker wants to change "colonoscopy" to "cloudscape." A cloudscape sounds much more pleasant today.

UPDATE:

So, as per usual, I couldn't remember a thing once I woke up. Apparently I repeatedly freaked out about them putting me on Prednisone because I really, really, really don't want to get moon face. Call me vain.

The weird thing is, I don't remember ANYTHING in between the nurse explaining the "happy juice" (her words) that she was putting into my IV and then BAM, I'm in my kitchen eating a Good Times hamburger with Will. Seriously, I don't remember waking up, I don't remember visiting the pharmacy to get the dreaded prednisone, I don't remember going to Good Times or even driving home. This is totally messing with my mind!